It's taken me a while to want to try and write about our little Jay Brady Adams.. Mainly because I will never be able to put into words what I have felt and experienced during this time. I am a different person, and will never be the same I used to, some parts for the good and some not. I look at life with much more gratitude than I used to.. so very grateful for my life, for my husband, for my daughter, our son, the gospel, the plan of salvation, our family/friends, and the list goes on.. I have felt every prayer, they have lifted me, and saved me at times. Our prayers were beyond answered, we were given two hours with our sweet son.. two hours that never should have happened.. and every second of those two hours will be cherished until we see him again. We went into the hospital at 9 on wednesday morning the 27.. by 11:40 I was in my room and they inserted a little pill into my cervix to start contractions.. I was induced with Presley so I thought that I knew all about it.. think again.. this little pill caused contractions that were 7 minutes long with 20 seconds in between the contractions.. that is the closest I've ever been to feeling like I was going to die! So they checked me and inserted this pill into me every 4 hours.. After twelve hours of doing this I was only at a 4. Finally at 2 AM I started feeling a change.. I called the nurse and told her the pressure was unbearable and that he was coming.. She called my doctor and told him to come. She checked me and he was on his way.. Since he was so small he could come without any pushing.. My doctor got there, broke my water and two pushes later our little one was here. They put him on my chest and all I could do was cry.. He was so little and was just laying there, I didn't think he had made it alive.. After a few minutes the nurse told us that he had a heartbeat. You could see his heart beating very slowly through the clear omphalocele. Jason and I spent time holding him and loving him. Our families were there and got to meet him. He wasn't able to cry or move, but we could feel of his sweet and tender spirit. His heartbeats continued to get further and further apart until it stopped. I love and miss him so very much. There is and always will be a part of me that is missing. I can't wait for the day that I can hold and be with him again.
We had a very small graveside service with just immediate family. It was perfect and exactly what we wanted. Our bishop spoke and Jason said a beautiful prayer to dedicate the grave.